This song has been on my heart for a couple of months. It has been my prayer and when sung in church, I can scarcely make a sound.. just mouth the words and weep as I beg the Lord to wash over me and quiet my anxious soul.
Since finding out in late January that we were expecting it has been with cautious joy waiting to see if we would make it through the first trimester.
Last year we were in a similar place-- twice.
No one really talks about miscarriage and so when it happens, you are completely unprepared. The loss, grief, and sadness is almost more than you can take when just a day before you were giddy and planning nursery themes. No one tells you that they are quite common and many times without reason. You blame yourself and go over in your head what you did wrong. But mostly you grieve because a precious life was lost.
So I find comfort in this song and in the knowledge that my God holds the world (and my heart) in His hands. That He is by my side, comforting me and assuring me of His faithfulness. I am sad for our loss but His Joy is renewed every morning and today I get to see my little one who is growing strong as we near the 20th week at our doctor appointment.
God has blessed us so much with each other, Judah, little lemon, our families, our home, food and resources to give to others. He has never given us a reason to doubt His vast love and grace that He covers us with each new day.
Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.
In you I rest, in You I found my hope
In you I trust, You never let me goI place my life within your hands aloneBe still, my soul
it comforts me in all my troubles. Psalm 119:50
I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn over what is going to happen to me, but the world will rejoice. You will grieve, but your grief will suddenly turn to wonderful joy. 21 It will be like a woman suffering the pains of labor. When her child is born, her anguish gives way to joy because she has brought a new baby into the world.22 So you have sorrow now, but I will see you again; then you will rejoice, and no one can rob you of that joy. John 16:20-22
So I find comfort in this song and in the knowledge that my God holds the world (and my heart) in His hands. That He is by my side, comforting me and assuring me of His faithfulness. I am sad for our loss but His Joy is renewed every morning and today I get to see my little one who is growing strong as we near the 20th week at our doctor appointment.
God has blessed us so much with each other, Judah, little lemon, our families, our home, food and resources to give to others. He has never given us a reason to doubt His vast love and grace that He covers us with each new day.
Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.
In you I rest, in You I found my hope
In you I trust, You never let me goI place my life within your hands aloneBe still, my soul
Your promise revives me;
I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn over what is going to happen to me, but the world will rejoice. You will grieve, but your grief will suddenly turn to wonderful joy. 21 It will be like a woman suffering the pains of labor. When her child is born, her anguish gives way to joy because she has brought a new baby into the world.22 So you have sorrow now, but I will see you again; then you will rejoice, and no one can rob you of that joy. John 16:20-22
Dear Katrina, I am so sorry for your losses. I know those two babies will always be in your heart. I am praying for you and little lemon. I love you and wish I could hug you right now.
ReplyDeleteI am in awe of your strength and inspired by your testament of faith!
ReplyDeleteThank God for joy everlasting because happiness is a mere fleeting feeling.
My sweet baby. Only you can put such heartache into beautiful words of faith. I love seeing your spiritual growth and confidence in God. We trust with you and Dan and Judah for our precious little girl.
ReplyDeleteI know how hard that is losing 2 precious gifts but God knows best. I truly feel your pain but am rejoicing over little lemon aka Jo katrina blessing the Liss family and ours =) I sometimes stop and think that I would actually have a 13 and 12 year old but then I know it was not meant to be. God blessed me with Ian and that is okay with me.
ReplyDelete